A great team at work is one that will not keep a rolling sheet of hours when the mission or project goes beyond their written or assumed expectations. They don't ask for extra compensation, they don't roll their eyes and sigh. They strap it on and they go forward.
The same is true in marriage. My wife and I a long time ago began using the phrase "Team Tygrett" to describe our life together. Successful marriages (which I believe we have) are ones where the job description of a husband or a wife takes a back seat to the life that is being lived.
There is no "that's not my job" or "that's woman's work." That's lazy. That's irresponsible.
A good marriage doesn't log hours, doesn't do "comp" time: "I did the dishes today, so you have to _______." We simply see the life and family tasks that need to be done and we do them.
You'd be surprised how much easier it is to experience and give love, forgiveness, patience, gentleness, and how we can live a bitter-free life with our family and our spouses. The life of following Christ in our marriages DEMANDS that we operate for each other's good. That's the definition of love -
Greater love has no one than this, that they would lay down their life for their friend. (John 15:13, paraphrase)
So, are you a team? Or are you keeping a spreadsheet to use against your spouse?