Yesterday was incredibly unsettling. It was nearly 51 degrees in the winter in Chicagoland, sun breaking through the typically opaque cloud masses that send us scattering for Vitamin D and old pictures of the days when we used to see the sun.
Granted those pictures were taken 6 months ago, but it seems like eternity when you stand against the wind shear of Illinois winter.
Not this year. This year, on the 16th day of February, Spring stumbled in and set up shop.
And with it the robins arrived. It was like something out of a David Lynch film – I stood in my garage and listened to them chirping, knowing with bittersweet realization that they would soon realize they had come too soon and they would scamper for cover against the regular rhythms of winter.
In my living room, I sat crying out to God. This week brought a weakness over me that I hadn’t felt in quite some time. I was carrying too much, I was giving away too much – the tank was empty and I hadn’t taken the proper time to refuel and refill.
So I broke.
It was sometime around 4:45 on Wednesday that it set in, when while driving home I found myself ready to weep for no apparent reason. I was out of rhythm and out of step.
Part of the conversation with God on Thursday also had to do with what was in store for me next. Parkview is a blessed place to do ministry and I can't wait to see what the next 3 years bring. I have also been able to write and blog and connect in ways I never expected. God is opening doors and working in me, but what was I to do with the opportunities? Where do I go? What does God's desire for Parkview do to my daily to-do list? (*Disclaimer: I'm not leaving Parkview any time soon. Don't go posting that rumor on Twitter.)
Then the robins chirped, and this insight hit me:
Casey, how does a robin know it can fly? Because I gave it wings.
And I'm still not sure, but I think God followed up that statement with this:
When we are pressed, looking for the purpose after a time of challenge, we need to look down and see if we have wings or not. Perhaps we don’t, but that only means that flying is not what we’re called to.
We are all designed for a good and beautiful life. We are all designed for worshipful service to God. We are all designed for something.
May God grant you a “duh” moment as you worship, seek, and listen to Him today.